I am just under two weeks out and I am so excited for my show coming up! I have worked my ass off so far for this show! This package has been about a year in the making and I cannot wait for the final touches to come in! I honestly feel like Superwoman lately haha because I have just been giving’er for such a long time, and at this point with only two weeks left, I feel like I can do anything! 50 minutes on the Stairmaster post-workout? Sure. 200 lunges everyday post workout? No problem. No carbs at all for the third week in a row. What the fuck ever LOL I can’t complain, I’ve come this far haven’t I? So why start crying about it now?
This is where my blog post is coming from. I’ve been hustling, sticking to my diet, grinding out my workouts everyday, meal prepping, working, blogging, reading, and just trying to be an overall productive human. Not only that, I’ve had a lot of time to self-reflect. I’ve also been talking a lot about my journey so far on this prep to pretty much everyone LOL Not only is it almost the only thing I can think about/talk about haha almost everyone is asking me about it because they’ve seen my hard work, dedication, and most of all the results of these past 4 months. It’s great and it makes me proud for sure. Not only am I proud of the weight loss and overall tightness I’ve achieved during this prep, but literally I’ve transformed at least three times in the span of just over a year (I talked about this in my other blog post called “My Bodybuilding journey so far”). I went from non-bodybuilder, to a bikini competitor, then into a full bulk phase to add size, and shape, to now a first time figure athlete!
The feedback from almost everyone I meet has been so positive! Even my coach has let me know on several occasions how proud he is of me, and my hard work. Through out this year I’ve learned a lot about myself. I’ve learned about my mental and physical strength, (I can really take a beating LOL let me tell you!) but also of my fears, and the things that I’ve done in the past to hold myself back from really being successful. This summer has been huge for me in terms of self-realization. I’ve realized that the reason why I haven’t achieved all my goals yet, or that I’m not as successful as I want to be is because of my own fears. I am my own worst enemy, and this is true for many of us. This is why I’ve taken measures to further develop myself, and my business. I’ve started reading more, literally this whole prep I’ve been reading something, something that I want to learn more about, stuff that will empower me, and so on. I’ve decided that I am a better person on prep, I need to be more organized to fit all my workouts, meals, and everything in, so why not use this opportunity to improve my whole quality of life instead of just my body for the show? So, that’s what I’m trying to do. I started writing this blog, being better on my social media to help promote myself more, and using the whole day to be productive in some way so that not only will I distract myself from my hunger LOL I can start to make more things happen for myself.
Now, here is where I get straight to the point. Basically, now that I have reached the home stretch of my prep, and now I’m just putting the finishing touches together I can really start to reflect on everything I’ve done so far, and everything I want to do post show. It is through this time of reflection, and self-realization (which I honestly think we could all use more time for self-reflection… and I don’t mean going through the 20 selfies you took in the bathroom to find the best one LOL) that I realized that no matter how hard I’ve worked this year, all the transformations I’ve made, I’m not guaranteed a win at my show. I am obviously training to win for sure! There is no doubt about that! I want to win so badly, but just because I’m putting in all the work, doing all the right things, trying to better myself in as many ways as possible, does not mean I’ll be successful. It also doesn’t mean that because I’m working so hard, that I have the right to complain about it as much as I want. What I’m trying to say is that sometimes we can fall into this trap where we feel this sense of entitlement. Like, I work so hard, I eat clean, and diet all the time, I deserve this trophy! No you don’t. You’re not the only one who worked hard, dieted, followed their plans to a tee, you are not guaranteed a win.
Obviously, I would hope that you’re training to win, (and this can literally apply to anything you do in life) because when you train to win, you will put your heart and soul into your prep. You will do anything it takes to get to the top because you want to win so badly! When you train to win, and you want to be the best there’s no time to complain about what you have to do to get there. You decided on this path, you knew what you might have to do to get there, so keep the whining and crying to a minimum because really no one cares… And I say that in the nicest way possible. There will be times where you’re drained, and you need to vent. That’s cool, but keep it to a minimum. It’s not productive, nor positive to sit there and whine. It’s a complete waste of time. Life is hard, prep is hard, but crying about it won’t change it, and it definitely won’t help you win. And this is what I’m getting at! Everyone is working hard, everyone is stressed out, going through tough shit, or maybe they’re not, but who cares! It never changes what you have to do for yourself in order for you to get what you want! Plus people don’t want to be around such negativity. They may listen to your sob story once or twice, but at the end of the day they will get tired of hearing it. People are attracted to other people who are both positive and productive. Even when the going gets tough, and you didn’t win, go back to the drawing board, find out what went wrong, and how you can improve. Don’t just sit there feeling sorry for yourself because you didn’t get what you though your “deserved.”
Nothing in life is guaranteed, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t be successful, or that you can’t win. What I’m saying is, is that you need to avoid having pity parties for yourself. Sometimes life will knock you down, take the time to heal, then move past it and figure out how to make sure it doesn’t happen again. I am posting this now because I have been reflecting on this idea of entitlement and self-pity for a while now. I see it all the time. Yes, I have busted my ass this year, and during this prep for my show on October 10th, and hell yes I want to win! But all I can really do is do everything in my power to make sure that happens, nothing else. Crying about how hard it’s been won’t help, comparing myself to other athletes won’t help (unless I am trying to learn from them in a positive way). The only thing I can really do is do the work. Grind it out, suck it up, and stay focused. My time will come, I know that! Maybe it won’t be October 10th 2015, that won’t stop me! But to be honest, I am and I will do everything that I know I can to make it happen, and I mean that! I’m not saying I deserve to win because I worked harder than everyone else, because I don’t really know that. But I believe I can win, and that’s enough for me.
Last night’s bathroom selfie striking a bikini competitor front pose while waiting to be able to eat my last meal before bed. Less than 2 weeks to go! Maybe I’ll do both bikini and figure at this show… we’ll see!